This one I didn’t make up. Under the pic, the article begins:
Not got a boyfriend? Not engaged? Never mind – there’s no need to wait around for someone else to buy you a ring to declare their love for you. It’s time to seek a ring out for yourself, in celebration of self-love and your own self-worth to wear on your pinky finger… call it an “anti-engagement ring”, if you like, and may it serve as a little reminder that you come first.
What’s the point of being gay if you can get the solipsist thing going? Buy yourself a ring and a good vibrator.
A pastor I respect has been telling me the next frontier in sexual perversion will be…
virtual sex—self-loving aided by technology. He says everyone in the church will be doing it and no one will have the slightest idea what’s wrong with it.
Sex has always driven technological innovation and virtual reality is where the venture capital has gone the past few years. So get your thinking cap on, Christian. What’s wrong with getting your relief from self-loving instead of marriage? If it’s better to marry than burn, isn’t it even better to masturbate?
No alimony. No child support. In fact, no children. Not even birth control.
No authority or submission, and ain’t that a relief? Not even mutual submission.
No fights over money. No fights at all—just depression. No divorce—how would you divorce yourself unless it’s called suicide?
The “gay Christian” movement promoted by Desiring God, Gospel Coalition, and the Louisville contingent of Southern Baptists has done us the kindness of laying the foundation. Since it’s fine to be gay inside as long as you don’t touch anyone outside, what possible objection could anyone have to being a narcissist inside and never touching anyone outside? People couldn’t even call you disordered since Jesus told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
Some smart aleck probably wants to point out that the images required for successful self-loving sexual activity would harm the men and women who exposed themselves for the self-lover’s screen, but that too will be solved by technology. No one has to get naked. Our technology has been that good for a while, now. Machines can produce virtual idols perfectly suited for every one of us.
You want a young hunk? Just tell the machine to give you one and—voila!—your wish is the machine’s command. And machines can’t sin.
As I think about it, I’m floored by the possibilities. Isn’t this the final rout of the church by gaybies?
If it takes two to tango, it also takes two to engage in opposite-sex sexual activity. But when you take sexual activity back to one, everyone becomes a gaybie because everyone is into same-sex sexual activity.
Reblogged by permission of the author, Tim Bayly on November 19, 2016.